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"i cant sleep"
BITCH IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD’VE FIXED IT ALREADY AND GONE THE FUCK TO BED LIKE????
so I was wearing a Captain America shirt on my run today and TWO separate people shouted ‘ON YOUR LEFT’ at me
sometimes the world is a wonderful and magical place
If you knock on my door and I say “yeah” it doesn’t mean “Come on in!” it means “stay where you are and state your business.”
i am so tired of obama and romney why can’t thor be president
ohmygod could you imagine tho
“mr. president, what are your thoughts on gay marriage?”
“I HOPE ALL MORTALS HAVE A GAY AND JOVIAL MARRIAGE”
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life
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